my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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