oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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