Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
