glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
