I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
