Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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