The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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