Porn is love you can see.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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