I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
