I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
