My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my being single is dangerous.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
