i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
