Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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