it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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