you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
