Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
