I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
