We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
