the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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