this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Everything about him screamed your future.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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