Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
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in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize