I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
