What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
