he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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