where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
