I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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