We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
