Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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