For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
