if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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