i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
