I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
