apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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