...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Barsexuality is the new black.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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