Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just sucked dick on a ferry
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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