I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
