Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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