ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
