a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
