420 ftw
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
