porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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