There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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