Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
North Korea, Best Korea!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
