Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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