Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I bet he comes in French.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
