the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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