I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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