# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize