This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
