I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
A+ Viking dick
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
