I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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