he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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