I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
