We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Blood and glitter go together right?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
