good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
