I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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