I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i dont even know how to be here
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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