she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
