i think my tv is drunk
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
