Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize