I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
a search helicopter?!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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