Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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