I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
